Truth or Dare Read online

  Fuck, I told her I was going to screw up this dating thing, and I’m sure proving that to her. Who brings a girl to the cemetery and lays this shit on her? Me. Paulie was right, I’m an idiot.

  “It wasn’t your fault,” Lea says sweetly, sitting next to me. Knowing it’s what other guys from our tight group do when they come out here, she reaches into the paper sack, pulling out three cans of beer.

  Some might find it disrespectful to have a drink at the grave of a man who died because he was drunk, but Robby and some of the other guys started this months after he died. One beer per person, never more. She skillfully cracks the top on each can, handing one to me.

  “To Paulie, almost always the voice of reason,” she says, holding her can in the air. She turns so she’s facing the headstone, speaking to our friend now. “I’m still pissed at you for what you did, but thank you for sticking up for me.”

  She tips the can back, making a sour face after the first draw. She’s never been a fan of beer, and swore she would never drink it again after last night, and yet, she’s sitting here choking the liquid down because it’s what we do. She turns to me, taking my free hand in hers. “He’s the one who drove that night. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

  The summer sun sinks below the horizon as we swap stories about Paulie. It feels good to be here with her. It might be fucked up to most people, but in my mind, it’s like we’re here, showing him that we figured out our shit, even if it took a while. The guilt has taken up permanent residence in my soul, but with Lea’s reassurances, the weight isn’t as heavy.

  Chapter 9

  Lea

  We’re too young to know the loss we feel. You were too young to die. But we’re learning that life isn’t fair, so we’re here crying while you’re on the other side, screaming at us to knock it off and remember the good times…

  The somber mood in the car as we cruise down dark, country roads is surprisingly okay with me. Colby tells me everything, but I never knew about his fight with Paulie until tonight. That leads me to believe that he realizes as much as I do what it means for us to take this next step in life hand-in-hand. He took me to the cemetery because he needed to make sure there wasn’t a ghost between us, and I get that.

  Thanking him seems oddly inappropriate, but I can’t think of anything else to say, so I do what Colby does when the silence gets to be too much. I reach for the stereo, trying to find something that won’t make either of us go insane. The fact that he’s a country boy and I’m a pop/rock girl could be a deal breaker if not for the fact that we’re almost perfect in every other way.

  “Just pick something, CB.” We’ve had this fight hundreds of times over the years, and I always wind up turning it to something he will enjoy because I know I’ll be treated to him singing along to the radio. After more surfing through channels, listening to each station for no more than three seconds, Colby bats my hand away from the buttons, reaching under the armrest for a CD. I try to see who it is, but he’s too quick for me.

  Country may not be my thing, but I am a sucker for Tim McGraw, and that’s the disc Colby put in the system. When the rich voice starts singing about best friends, I look over to Colby and see him glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as he pays attention to his driving. Our fingers weave together on his knee as he starts singing along with the track and I have to fight back tears. I’ve listened to this song more times than I can count, but tonight is the first time I’ve stopped to appreciate the lyrics.

  He pulls the car into the vacant lot, leaving the music playing as he rushes around to open my door. As soon as my feet are on the gravel drive, Colby pushes the door closed, drawing me into him. As we dance under a perfectly clear sky filled with millions of stars, Colby serenades me. Although they’re not his original lyrics, his voice is as smooth as glass as he sings about how we found each other without a minute to spare. Despite the fact that it took us so long to get to this point, I agree with him. Neither of us can understand why just yet, but there is a reason our path wound the way it did.

  “Is it too soon for me to tell you that I love you?” he asks during the bridge. I look into his amber eyes and see the depth of his words. The words won’t form around the lump in my throat, so I simply lift myself onto my toes, softly kissing each corner of his mouth.

  “No, because I’ve been waiting over three years to tell you,” I admit when I can speak. “I love you, Colby Davis, even if you are a moron sometimes.”

  After the song finishes, Colby reaches in the backseat for a blanket and a soft-sided cooler. He tucks the blanket under his arm, leaving one hand free to hold me as we walk across the field. Being here, in the one place that has always made me feel safe, with Colby sitting beside me feels right. God, that sounds cliché, but it is.

  This is the place my grandparents brought us on warm, summer afternoons so we could run free and watch the planes taking off from the airport below. Eventually, they would call us over to the shelter for lunch and they would take time to make each grandchild feel special. My grandfather was the one who instilled a need for college in all of us, saying there would be time to live, but if we couldn’t support ourselves, we would only be existing.

  His words still ring true with me, but as I lie under a blanket of stars with the man I firmly believe was sent to me, I’m seeing that not everyone is destined to take the same road in life. Colby has a gift that doesn’t require a degree hanging on the wall to thrive. And as painful as it is, I know it’s my duty to encourage him to follow his path and be his number one fan.

  “Hey, where did you go on me?” Colby asks, brushing bright red wisps of hair away from my face. I roll on my side, mirroring his position and take in the sight of him.

  “You have to go to Nashville,” I blurt out before fear chokes out the words. The last thing I want to do is watch him leave, but if he doesn’t, he’ll spend the rest of his life wondering what could have been. The passion I saw and heard when he was singing to me won’t diminish over time.

  “Wow, I wasn’t expecting to hear that,” he says, sounding dejected. Daring to look at his face, I see the uncertainty pooling in his eyes. “I figured we might have at least one night together before you tried to get rid of me.”

  Running my hand along his trimmed beard, I brush my lips against his, holding the embrace. “Colby, now that we have one another, it’s not going to be that easy to walk away. And that’s why you need to do it now. We’ll find a way to make it work, but you have to promise me you’ll start making calls and planning. What you have is a gift and I won’t be the one to hold you back.”

  Between the two of us, I think we’ve done everything we possibly can to make this the worst first date in the history of first dates. He takes me to a cemetery and I tell him that he has to leave me. We’re quite the pair. Then again, if we can make it through this, we’ll have one heck of a story for our grandkids someday.

  “Babe, I can wait until you graduate. I’ve waited this long, a couple more years won’t kill me.” He rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world, but our bodies are pressed together and that’s all that matters.

  “No, there are no guarantees in life. I want you to do this while I’m busy with school. You can come up and see me whenever it works out and I will be in my car, heading down there as soon as breaks start, but you have to do this.” Tears are streaming down my face, creating two wet circles on Colby’s t-shirt. Before any more fall, he reaches up, gently swiping my cheeks with his thumb.

  “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’d like to see if we can turn this date around, otherwise I’m afraid you’ll never go out with me again,” he teases. Despite the pain in my chest, I laugh because I was having the exact same thoughts. This is how well we get one another.

  **

  When I told Colby I wanted to watch the planes from Veteran’s Hill, I never thought it would turn into camping under the stars. For the second morning in a
row, the blinding sun wakes me and I turn to see Colby lying next to me. It’s hard to believe how much life has changed in the past couple of days, but I’m not going to question it. As Grandma always said, “Everything happens for a reason, and it’s best that you don’t ask why. That’s just daring God.”

  It’s funny how their memories have faded over the years, but one night on the hill has brought them back to the front of my mind. When I told Colby that this would be my dream date, it was because very few things in life brought me joy at that time in my life. My grandparents had died within months of each other, less than a year before Amanda brought me out for the first time and I thought my life was over. Being on the hill was how I still felt a connection to them and I would have gladly moved there if I could have. Today, I have peace because I realize they’ve been close to me this entire time.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” Colby says, his voice hoarse from the early morning air. He cracks one eye open to look over at me. “Whose bright idea was it to sleep out here?”

  I giggle as I watch him try to stretch, knowing that his body is punishing him the same way mine is. It’s been a dry summer and the ground is hard as rock, not ideal for sleeping, even if it is next to a sexy man. Colby reaches over, digging the tips of his fingers into my sides. “Oh, you think my pain is funny?” he kids as he continues tickling me.

  “No…yes…Colby, stop!” I say as I gasp for air. Colby pulls me onto his lap as the fighter jets from the National Guard hangar fly overhead. We sit there until all of the jets are in the air, feeling the rumble of the low-flying aircraft throughout our bodies. “We should probably head home,” I say sadly, wishing our date never had to end.

  “Are you going to let me kiss you goodnight?” Colby asks as he helps me into the car. Cocking my eyebrow, I pretend to think on his request for a bit. Unable to keep a straight face, I know Colby knows he’s getting at least a kiss. What is the protocol for goodnight kisses that take place at seven in the morning when you already live together?

  Chapter 10

  Colby

  Knowing that today was coming doesn’t make it any easier. Lea and I have spent every possible minute together for the past few weeks, even turning down invitations to parties and avoiding the dead end. But today, I’m making my girl breakfast while she flips out, wondering if she’s forgetting anything for her classes.

  “Babe, if you do forget something, call me. It’s not that far and I can bring it to you,” I call across the apartment as I pour her a travel mug of coffee. “Come on, I’m not going to make you a hot breakfast every day, so you’d better enjoy it while you can!”

  The truth is, the number of mornings I’ll be spending like this are quickly dwindling. I haven’t told her just yet, but in just under a month, I’m going to be headed down to Nashville. It turns out that Robby’s dad knows a guy, who knows a guy, and I have a job waiting for me at a new club. It’s not playing my music, but it’s better than nothing.

  “Wow, someone’s grumpy this morning,” Lea teases, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind. I put on my best happy face before turning in her arms to see if I can kiss off all of her kiwi lip balm.

  Tonight. I will tell her, after she’s made it through her first day of classes. God, I don’t want to tell her. The biggest part of me doesn’t even want to do this right now, but I’m pretty sure Lea and I got our worst fight out of the way first because she refused to back down about me going to Nashville. When Robby’s dad overheard me bitching to Robby, he took it upon himself to make some calls. After not having a dad who supported my music, it’s nice to have Mister Coy in my corner.

  “Only because I don’t want you to leave,” I say softly and I mean every pussy-whipped word. Not that I’m sure you can be whipped if you haven’t gotten any, but I think I am and I’m okay with that. “Hurry home so we can go out to dinner and celebrate.”

  Walking her to the door, I try to convince myself that this is a good thing. Sure, I’ll miss her, but at least this way, we’ll both get used to not being together all the time before I leave. I can’t imagine quitting this girl cold turkey.

  I pull out my acoustic once Lea’s gone, working on a song that came to me a few nights ago. True to my word, not a day has gone by when I haven’t screwed up something. After telling her that I’m doing the best I can, the lyrics started flowing and my biggest concern became finding a notepad before they left my mind.

  I am doing the best I can

  With everything I am

  Don’t you know I think you’re worth it?

  Do you understand how hard I’m trying to do

  The best I can?

  Who knows if anything will every come of it, but I’m determined to record this song on my crappy home setup before I leave so Lea has a reminder that I’m doing this for us. The only reason I’m taking this step is because she pushed me to follow my dreams.

  Music has always been the one thing that keeps me sane, but right now, it’s tearing me apart. How many artists dream of hitting it big in Music City, only to become a statistic? Being one of the best at home isn’t going to mean shit to anyone once I get down there. I’m going to have to play until my fingers bleed in order to get someone to notice me, and even that might not be enough.

  My phone vibrates across the cheap desk in my bedroom as I play the last measures of the song again. Soon, it will be polished enough to record for Lea, but I have a lot of work to do if I plan to try and sell this to anyone. The number is one I don’t recognize, so I let it go to voicemail.

  Once I’m satisfied that the song doesn’t sound like total shit, I pick up my phone, dialing into my messages as I dig through the fridge for something to eat.

  “Colby, this is Aaron Donaldson. Something has come up and I need to know if you can get down here sooner. Steven Coy assures me that you’re a hard-working, dependable kid and I need that right now. If you can get down here by Wednesday, I think I might have the perfect position for you that’s going to benefit both of us. Call me back when you can to let me know.”

  Fuck, now what do I do? Mister Coy really went out on a limb for me. I’m not sure he’s ever even done something like this for Robby, but he’s given someone his word that I’ll be a good employee. And Aaron knows why I’m coming down there, which makes me even more curious about how this is going to be something that benefits both of us. It seems to me like there’s no choice other than to pack my shit in a duffel bag and go. In a city like Nashville, turning down an opportunity or putting someone off is probably about as acceptable as spitting on them. And there will be a hundred other starving musicians all too eager to take the slot I’m being offered.

  The problem is that the bus ride is over twenty hours, which means I’ll have to leave tomorrow, late in the morning. While she’s supposed to be at school, I’ll have to jump in a cab to the bus depot and turn my back on home. Just the thought has me scared shitless. With one thirty second voicemail, life has suddenly become very fucking real to me and I’m a big enough man to admit that I’m shaking in my boots, self-doubt creeping into my mind.

  **

  “Honey, I’m home,” Lea says, doing her best Ricky Ricardo impression as she walks through the door. As soon as the door is closed, her backpack hits the floor with a thud. “Wow, you look nice tonight. I thought we’d just head down to Jetty’s for a burger or something.”

  “Nope, I told you I was taking you out to dinner. Go get changed.” I swat her on the ass as she passes me, resisting the urge to follow her into the bedroom. Now, that I know when I’m leaving, there’s a sense of urgency about everything. I have to find a way to make every minute count, and I want the majority of those to include her naked while I worship her body so she’ll remember me while I’m gone. Taking our time no longer feels like an option to me because if I leave without leaving an imprint on her heart and mind, the memories of the past few weeks will fade over time.

  There must be some sort of magic hidden inside Lea’s closet b
ecause less than ten minutes later, the co-ed wearing tattered jeans and a camo tank top saunters out of the bedroom wearing the tightest black jeans I’ve ever seen and a sinfully sweet yellow top. She has let her hair down so there’s a stark contrast between the bold sleeveless top and her shocking red hair. And again, it all seems like she simply pulled something out of her closet and threw it on.

  “Fuck, you make me not want to leave the apartment,” I sigh as she walks over to me on dangerously high heels. I’m not even sure where she got something like this because I’ve sure as hell never seen it on her before. “You look beautiful, babe.”

  As we walk the two blocks to the restaurant, I notice more than a few of the college punks checking out my girl. All I do is smile, knowing that she’s all mine and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it, other than drool.

  The hostess seats us at a table in the back, just as I requested when I called earlier. Not knowing how either of us are going to handle tonight’s conversation, I figured it was for the best if we weren’t in a high traffic area. I’m regretting that choice now because there’s nothing to distract me.

  “How was your day?” I ask, knowing the words are lame as fuck.

  She goes through her classes for the semester, telling me about the ornery Lit professor and the eclectic head of the Psychology department. Somewhere around her third class, I start to zone out, knowing I can’t delay the inevitable. “Are you listening to me at all?” she asks, annoyed by my inattention.